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Archive for September, 2010

Uncle Jesse Asks for a Big Favor

February 4, 2007-February 5, 2007 – I was in an episode of Full House.  Uncle Jesse was upset.  He sent me to go sneak into some place to steal something so that Michelle would get accepted into some school.  As I got out of that place, I had to climb down a ladder on the side of the building very carefully.  Then, I kept climbing down the ladder again and again.  One time, I bumped into Tim Waterman and another guy, who were keeping watch with Uncle Jesse.

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Wild Mutant Animals

August 22, 2006 – August 23, 2006 – I was at some vacation home with the family.  We had to be on the lookout for wild mutant animals that were on the attack.  A horse, which was from Flicka, that we had at the home, was getting upset, so some people had to calm down.  This distracted me, causing me to let my guard down.  A white-furred werewolf-like creature jumped on me.  In the ensuing struggle, it scratched and nipped me in a few places.  Then, it got off and I got it to go into a crate.  Nelli also got into her crate, which was right behind the mutant’s, and seemed to be adjoined to it.  Although the creature calmed down, I didn’t think this was an effective solution, because the animals couldn’t remain in crates forever, and they would attack whenever they got out.

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February 5, 2010 – February 6, 2010 – I was in the studio audience for an episode of SNL.  Tracy Morgan was the host.  There was a rendition of What Up With That?  Tracy was playing the main guest.  Kenan gathered several little kids from the audience as part of the performance.  Then (seemingly right after this episode), there was another episode being performed.  Cameron Diaz was the host.  I was doing the monologue.  The stage was raised above the crowd.  The audience members were sitting on foldout chairs.  I was talking into a standing microphone.  There was someone else standing on the stage, possibly someone from the cast.  Cameron Diaz had had a string of bad movies lately, so we were making fun of that in the monologue.  There was a picture collage on a monitor that featured horizontally long shots from her bad movies on top of each other.  I mentioned a couple of movies as examples.  But neither of them – I Love You, Beth Cooper and one other – actually featured Cameron Diaz.  I thought about mentioning the upcoming Knight and Day as a potential end to this streak of badness.  But I decided that it wasn’t my place to plug someone else’s movie.  Dad was watching in the audience.  As the show was getting started, there was another What Up With That? sketch.  But it was structured more like an Astronaut Jones sketch.  The WUWT? sketch in the last show might have also been more like Astronaut Jones.  Then I was at home, hanging out with Jeff and someone else (Dave?).  We were having some sort of contest.  I was armed with the baseball stats I had typed up and printed when I was about 8. I was mostly referring to the stats of the Pirates and one other team.  I found out that I had a second, different, page for the Pirates.  Their team batting average was much higher – .329, I think – on this page.  I figured that my pages may have come from different points in the season.

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Smallville Extreme

February 8, 2010 – February 9, 2010 – I was watching Smallville.  Clark was on a fancy boat in a resort area.  Meanwhile, there was a group of villains here who were targeting him.  There was a guy on the boat and a girl on the beach.  The girl had a gun with kryptonite bullets.  She was getting a fix on a good shot at Clark while the guy was trying to find him.  Just as the guy caught up with Clark, the girl fired.  The bullet hit the guy and Clark.  It knocked the guy’s head off his body, and it knocked off Clark’s torso, or just the top half of his torso.  The guy was staying alive, at least for the moment.  His head was rolling around.  Then it rolled down to the floor below, where his body was on its side on the floor.  His body was moving, somehow on its own, or he was somehow controlling its movement.  It was mostly just clenching its hands.  Clark started giving him advice about how he could potentially stay alive.

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“It’s An All That Reunion!”

September 3, 2009 – September 4, 2009 – I was at home, out in the family room.  Rob was also there.  He walked out into the living room.  Nanny Claire was there as well.  The season premiere of SNL came on.  The opening sketch featured five performers in a seaside location.   Two of the performers were cast members who used to be on All That, and Amanda Bynes was also there, so I said, “It’s an All That reunion!”  Then I walked into the living room to see what was going on out there.  Some guy arrived to remove some chairs from the dining room.  He reminded me of Pat the bus driver.  None of us were sure chairs were supposed to go.  Rob tried to get a hold of Mom to see if she could explain what we should tell the chair-removal guy.

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September 10, 2010-September 11, 2010 – I was watching Community.  It was taking place at the Oxford Valley movie theatre.  I was at the box office and the service desk.  The Community gang had ordered some food.  The delivery guy was the one who looked like Sawyer from Lost.  Annie kicked Jeff in the balls, because they kicked Jeff in the balls whenever this guy was their delivery guy.  I think that the place he was from was called El Diablo.  This was the first time that the gang was able to alert Sawyer that this guy was here before he left.  Sawyer came running down to see him.  I remained close to see what would happen once they saw each other.  Sawyer tried to walk in through the service door, and the door got between the two of them.  Then the delivery guy was able to sneak out without Sawyer getting a hold of him.  Then he walked through the lobby, his back to Sawyer.  Sawyer grabbed him by the shoulder and tried to turn him around, but he couldn’t at first.  Finally, they were facing each other.  This guy looked like Sawyer except that he had braces.   They had a conversation, in which Sawyer tried to figure out what was going on.

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March 6, 2009 – March 7, 2009 – I was watching A Christmas Story.  Ralphie got into some trouble.  Phillip Seymour Hoffman, playing the head priest at the school, called him “the most worrisome boy.”  Later, Ralphie was beating up the bully, and he was discovered by people from the school, instead of by his mother.  Then PSH was walking with him through the school, telling him that he thought he was “the most worrisome boy.”  He sent him off with some of the other priests to have them take care of him.  I thought that they were going to send him away somewhere.  I was talking with PSH to find out what they were going to do with him, because I was Ralphie’s older brother or just someone who was looking after him.  I wasn’t sure if he was going to be home in time for the scene where Randy is hiding in the oven and says, “Daddy’s gonna kill Ralphie!”  PSH told me, “Write a 100-word essay.  Then (we) throw it out.”  I realized that Ralphie was in a room with a priest, and that this essay assignment was what was going to happen.  Then PSH sat down on the stage, so as to put on some entertainment for the boys.  I went and sat down.  I leaned back against one of the boy’s arms, as he had had it resting on my seat.  Floating around PSH were these animatronic, thumb-size, sprite-like creatures – a horse or something and a knight.  He was feeding them jelly.

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Spaceballs

May 5, 2008-May 6, 2008 – I was watching Spaceballs, but it was different.  It was like something else.

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May 5, 2008-May 6, 2008 – I was at the Oscars with my family.  It was about to start, so we were in our seats, except Rob, who was still outside.  So I texted him to let him know that it was about to start.  I really had no idea who was going to win this year.  So I told Dad, “I really don’t know who’s going to win this year.”  Gwyneth Paltrow was nominated for Iron Man; I knew that, at least.  Someone came out onto the stage to introduce the show.  Then there was a montage.  It started off with something about Tropic Thunder.  Then it continued.  It was really esoteric and atmospheric.  Rob came in at one point.

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Super Bowl Fever

February 3, 2007-February 4, 2007 – I was watching the Super Bowl.  It was the Cowboys versus the Lions.  The Cowboys were up 24-2 with about five minutes left.  They were about to punt.  Even if the Cowboys were to beat the Lions, there was the possibility that they would have to play a team from Maine to win it all.  They punted, and Reggie Bush caught it while standing out of bounds.  Then some Cowboys dove on the ball and recovered it … while out of bounds.  The Cowboys then had possession of the ball.  Bill Parcells and the Lions coach both challenged the play, for some reason.  The replay was shown, and it was clear that Reggie had never actually caught the ball, but instead bobbled it, and then dropped it.  The Cowboys players jumped on it right away, but this all occurred … out of bounds.

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