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Archive for December, 2010

Anal and Scrotum Discomfort

September 22, 2006-September 23, 2006 – I was experiencing anal and scrotum discomfort.  So, I took a CD that was playing out of the CD player and rewound and fixed the tape as though it were a casette.  This somehow cured my pain.  Then I was on the beach with some family members and a dog.  The dog was lying down, experiencing the same pain that I had had.  But I was unwilling to reach up the dog’s butthole to help him.

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December 24, 2008-December 25, 2008 – I was watching the beginning of Role Models.  It was a different version than the one I had seen before.  There were a bunch of people getting tickets to go to an island.  It cut to Paul Rudd and focused on him getting his ticket.

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December 10, 2010-December 11, 2010 – There was this girl who I liked.  She was one of three sisters.  There were other guys vying for her affection as well.  I think there was one guy who had the biggest in with her, but I decided that I was going to announce how I felt to her.  I didn’t get a full reaction from her when I made the announcement.  Then I was watching/in an episode of iCarly.  The girls were having a sleepover.  One of the girls asked if they had any pot, which they did.  She was the only one in the group who had never smoked pot.  Then Carly and another girl walked into the bedroom (which is where the other girls were).   I was thinking about how Darrell on The Office had said he enjoyed watching iCarly with his daughter.  Carly was feeling a little daffy.  She was on the floor next to the front door.  Then I headed back to see the girl I liked.  There was a group of three brothers right behind me.  The house looked like Aunt Pat’s on the outside.  There were three cars in the driveway.  I was running by the time I made it to the front door.  I stuck the key in the handle, but I had trouble turning in at first.  The brothers were catching up to me.  One of them was pale and red-headed (he kind of looked like Prince Harry).  As I got into the house, the brothers were right behind me.  The inside of the house looked like Nanny’s.  I saw the girl’s one sister sitting on the toilet through the bathroom door.  Her other sister popped out of the bathroom next to the kitchen.  I had to go to the bathroom, so she handed me the key.  I wasn’t planning on locking the door.  One of the brothers showed up behind me as I was about to walk in and pee.

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February 23, 2010-February 24, 2010 – We were going to be celebrating my birthday on the first Saturday of Spring Break.  It was now Friday.  I was hanging out at home as preparations were being made and everybody else was bustling about.  I needed to go to Best Buy at some point.  In the afternoon, I went over to Aunt Peg’s.  We sat in the living room and talked for a little while.  Then she got up to go take Muffin for a walk.  She asked me if I wanted to come along.  I declined, saying that I had to get over to Best Buy.  It was now about 4:00 PM.  I was thinking about inviting Jeff and Walt over to hang out tonight.  Later, I was back at home, watching my newest Netflix movie with Rob.  I didn’t think it was a good idea at this point to invite Walt and Jeff over, but I was going to invite them over to the party tomorrow.  The next day, I was on an island where I escaped by swimming out to a plane along with some guy (possibly Jin from Lost) and a pilot.  Now I had to go back to the island and make the same escape.  Mom and Dad didn’t want me to go because I had injured my foot or my leg.  But I revisited the original escape, and the swim wasn’t as along as I thought it was, and my injury wasn’t aggravated.  So it didn’t seem too dangerous; I was all set to go.  At some point, I received an e-mail from the airline letting me know that my account would be credited with the refund within the next five days.  But the amount it said was about $155, which was a few dollars and change short of what it was supposed to be.  Later, I was watching SNL in my room on my laptop.  Charles Barkley and a woman were co-hosting.  The monologue was really short.  J. Lo was supposed to have hosted this episode.  I guess she had to pull out at the last minute and these were the replacements they got.  The first sketch after the monologue featured the female host and several copies of herself – all dressed in white.  She appeared to be doing a song.  It was a sketch that seemed more appropriate for The Muppet Show.  As Mom was leaving the room, she said that there was something wrong with the picture, that it kept cutting in and out or something.

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October 7, 2009-October 8, 2009 – I was watching something on TV, and during the course of whatever it was that I was watching, there were a few women who took off their tops.  Their exposed breasts were not censored.  This made me realize that naked breasts did not need to be censored on TV.

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March 23, 2009-March 24, 2009 – I was watching a game show.  There were two groups of girls.  The girls from one group were supposed to take off an article of clothing when something happened (when someone answered a question correctly?), while the other girls were supposed to put on a piece of clothing when something else, or the same thing, happened (when the other team got a question right?).  (But all of the girls were already completely naked.)  You could see both groups of girls on a screen.  They were all posed and still.  Something happened, and a couple of the girls in the first group were supposed to take something off.  They were both in sexual positions with a guy.  So, for the sake of taking something off, the guys got out of the girls.  Then the girls walked out of the area in the screen along with the guys.  I was watching this at home.

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Classic NBA

June 8, 2008-June 9, 2008 – I was watching the end of a basketball game.  I thought it was Lakers-Celtics Game 2 (2008 Finals) and that the Lakers had gone from being down by more than 20 to now being within 4.  The ball was thrown in and a 75-foot 3-pointer was thrown up and it went in.  I realized that this shot had just won the game – for the Lakers, I thought.  But then there was a close-up on an ecstatic Gary Payton, who had just made the shot, and I realized that I had been watching an old Sonics game.

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